


Babygirl

by Anonymous



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: (Forgot to tag that one), Alternate Universe - No Kira, Angst, But I'm kinda happy with "Babygirl", Care/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Death, Flashbacks, Fluff, HOW IS THAT NOT A TAG!?!?, I can't hurt them too badly, I swear, I swear there aren't many multi-chaptered fic of them, Long-Haired Near | Nate River, M/M, Matt's 21, Maybe I'm not looking hard enough, Mello's 21, Multi, Murder, Near Needs a Hug, Near's 19-20, No Beta, Other, Polyamorous relationship, Sassy Near | Nate River, Self-Indulgent, Singing into Hairbrushes, Sleepy Near | Nate River, Slightly - Freeform, Slow Burn, Stubborn Near | Nate River, That also isn't a tag…?, The birthdays are the same, There's a little twist on ages, and whatnot, either way, i'm making one, just a little bit, past trauma, polyamorous, self-image issues, stuffed animals, tags to be added as I write, title may change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:41:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28699326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Matt and Mello are completely happy and content in their perfect life and perfect relationship. But then they meet someone who introduces them to a whirlwind of things. Someone who could rip, tear, and wreck things apart - even if only to make a place for theirself.
Relationships: Matt | Mail Jeevas & Mello | Mihael Keehl & Near | Nate River, Matt | Mail Jeevas/Mello | Mihael Keehl, Matt | Mail Jeevas/Mello | Mihael Keehl/Near | Nate River, Matt | Mail Jeevas/Near | Nate River, Mello | Mihael Keehl/Near | Nate River
Comments: 22
Kudos: 16
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Looking Through Our Window

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we start, I must say a couple things, okay?
> 
> 1: This is my first time writing them. BUT! Before you get scared and leave, I have planned this for a bit. Because it's a slightly-self-indulgent fic. I normally write for others, and I'm doing that now, but I'm making it multi-chaptered for myself. Sorry. 
> 
> 2: Near has long hair! Hooray! Everyone loves this Near. This Near is the best Near. Also, just so some things are cleared up, Near was born with a female body, but they're actually agender. Their pronouns are they/them. 
> 
> 3: On that note, I have never written that before, but I'm pretty sure I got a grasp on it. I'm not agender, but I am not cisgender, so yeah.
> 
> 4: READ THE TAGS!! I know most people do that, but y'know, just making sure. Because this is VERY FLUFFY!! But also angsty, because I love both of those things. I'm not sure about smut yet, because I also love that, but we'll see.
> 
> 5: Not sure how many chapters. And last but not least… sorry about the long note.

Seeing the two for the first time, even through long, thin strands of hair, it's obvious that they're in love. The vaguely familiar blonde, with an arm wrapped around the dark-brown-haired one, whose hair flashes red in the sunlight. They're both laughing. They're both happy. It's jealousy-inducing. 

Two pale hands push away the hair, fog covers the driver seat window from a shaky breath. A spindly finger traces a heart, and then colors it in, right where the two are now kissing in the parking lot of a grocery store, in front of their car. Their bags carelessly around their feet, handles waving in the light breeze. 

More fog covers them with a sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the really short chapter. Lol. I just thought it was a nice introduction into this whirlwind.
> 
> The title comes from the song Babygirl by Meghan Trainor, which I adore. I just recently got her album Treat Myself. It's so good! If you don't have it, but you like Meghan Trainor, you should get it.
> 
> Again, the title may change. But only if anyone has a different suggestion. Lol, I'm not the type to change it without prompting.
> 
> Okay, I'm out. Sorry for prolonging you.


	2. Staring at the Rain Drizzle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now it starts. Mello and Matt go on home!

"Alright," Mello laughs, pulling away from his boyfriend, "we have to get these in the car." Matt pouts, leaning back. 

"Mello!" He complains. Mello swats his arm, grinning. 

"Oh shush, and don't give me that look!" They both stick their tongue out at each other at the same time. _How adorable,_ Mello thinks amusedly, _we must look like a fairytale couple to anyone on the outside. Hell, even on the inside it's like a modern-day, fucking legitamate, not-for-children-because-I-swear fairytale._ "I wonder who'd be the prince…" Mello muses out loud. Matt smirks, pulling out his GameBoy from his back pocket… or out of his ass or something. 

"Oh, Mello! I thought you already knew! I'm the prince, and you're the princess I have to rescue. But not from the tower or from your mother or stepmother and stepsisters or from a frozen heart, because then I'd be your sister, and that's just… weird. And creepy." Mello gives him the look that means that he's getting off track. It's the kind, gentle way to say, "hurry up already, dummy." The blonde reaches out his hands and massages Matt's shoulders. "Oh! Right, yes. It's… um… yeah… I don't have to save you from someone around you… I have to save you from yourself… because of your self-esteem issues, and the fact that you got yourself scars all on you… without me… MELLO! Will you stop distracting me?" 

Mello laughs evilly and stops leaning into his boyfriend, breathing right into the other's ear. He knows just how much Matt thinks he's hot, and overall good-looking, and he knows how to use it, by dropping his eyelids and getting real close. Matt always says that his eyes are hypnotizing, especially when you can see all the individual little blue specks and shades.

"But Matty, you got my full attention! Don't you want my full attention?" Matt opens his mouth, eyes slightly longing, but he closes it and lightly smacks Mello across the face. It doesn't hurt. Obviously. If it did, Mello'd… well, it wouldn't be good. He's only good with his temper for very long. 

"No, you bastard, I wanna get our shit in the car so we can go. It's getting cold." Hunh. True. Mello never noticed. Matt crawls into the passenger seat, where he slams the door shut. Mello can just barely see him pouting, arms crossed, slumped. 

The blonde sighs and loads the bags into the car, before getting in the car next to a silent Matt. 

"Don't sulk. It's-" _annoying,_ his brain finishes, but he clenches his teeth together and breathes in through his nose, "-worrying." Matt turns slightly to peek at him in the corner of his eye, urging Mello to continue. "So… home now?" 

A discreet, shit-eating grin spreads across the whole bottom of Matt's face. 

"Yes, Mello. Because I just wanna…" he boops Mello's nose, which comes as a surprise, "…eat you up. You look so appealing right now." Mello growls lowly. 

"Do you trust me to drive?" Matt shrugs. "Seriously? Fine, you meanie." Now when Matt smiles, his tongue pokes out from between his teeth.

"Well, you did burn half of your body. And miraculously saved both of your eyes…" the brunette mutters the last part. 

At that moment, lightning crackles, thunder crashes, and rain starts pouring. "Oooh, ominous." Mello jokes. He tilts his head to the side, glancing at Matt. "Nothing'll be on fire now." He starts the engine and begins driving, slow through the parking lot. Matt waves dismissively at him. 

"Things can still be on fire, stupid." Mello snorts, rolling his eyes. 

"I know that, sweetie. I'm not actually stupid. Just sarcastic." Another crash of thunder echoes in the air. 

\----------------------

Near leans back in their seat and closes their eyes. They wouldn't like to admit that they're afraid of thunder, but they are. They know that the thunder is the sound of lightning, and that lightning is the real threat, especially for metal things like this _car_ (but frankly, death sounds good right now…) but it's just the… the loud noise of the thunder. It makes Near's throat close up and their chest get tight. It makes it hard to breathe, and they feel like they aren't, even though breath is coming through fine. 

Near supposes it'd be a good time to sleep now. They're oddly calm during this storm, for reasons unknown.

\---------------------

"Ahhh… home…" Matt sighs, walking into their apartment. "Whoever said 'home is where your heart is' is wrong. Home is where you're boxed up and don't have to go outside. But it also isn't too closed-in. Hm." Mello shakes his head, smiling good-naturedly. 

"Unless if your heart is where you're boxed up and don't have to go outside." Matt pouts at the tease. 

"Nah. If home is where your heart is, truly, then I'd always be with you." Mello flushes, and his face becomes frozen. "Aw, darnit! Mello stop that, you don't have to actually _think_ about my compliments or hidden 'I love you's." 

"I don't?" Mello asks dryly, coming out of his thinking space. Matt shakes his head. "Interesting… I thought it mattered." Matt stares at him dully, and blinks once, slowly. _Hrmph! Him and his sarcasticness! He's lucky I love him._

They stare at each other for a moment longer, before Matt shrugs and goes on to get some food, muttering, "You don't have to be sarcastic twenty-four-seven." 

He ponders this, eating chips and playing his game on the couch all at the same time, perfectly coordinated with each. _Actually, his sarcasm makes it more fun. Alright! Well, then beat that demon AND this boss!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was also a kind of introduction, tbh… was that obvious? Well, it was to introduce Matt and Mello's dynamic. I think it helped…? Will help, at least. Anyway, <3 thank you for reading, and I'm already working on the next chapter.


	3. After it Stops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Near decides that maybe it's time to get out for a little bit.

The rain ends. Near doesn't know when, but it ends. The thunder stopped a bit before; that they know. There stopped being crashes of things falling in Near's dreams before they woke up.

Near yawns, rubbing their eyes, and blinking them open slowly. It's actually quite a joyful sight, seeing the evening sunset with everything dripping with cool drops of rain. Rain is quite a beautiful thing, it's just the thunder. 

A slight smile slips down across Near's face for a split second, before it's concealed by the blank-almost-curious-almost-sad look they always wear. There's barely a minute of thinking, hair twirling, and head tilting, before Near decides that it's one of those rare times where they should stretch their limbs. Their legs and arms have become cramped, and even though they normally stay in that one position; left leg up, left arm resting on it, and right hand twirling some of their long white hair, it gets worse as you spend more and more time in that one spot. As would anything else, for example, sitting on your knees, or stretching one leg out while the other is curled back towards your torso. 

Besides, it doesn't help that they're claustrophobic. Being constantly squished down makes it feel like everything else is condensing into a small square, Near right in the middle. 

So, Near supposes, you'd ask about why they stay in that one position, that curled-up position. The answer: no idea. It's comfortable, it reminds Near of the fetal position, which is also comfortable. But never under heavy blankets. Always loose, flowy blankets and clothes. And no dark colors. Partially - not the whole reason why - Near likes white.

Near slips on their only pair of footwear; light blue rainboots. They only have that one type and pair for a couple reasons, one, being that it's wide at the top and not too hot, two being shoes are suffocating and so are winter boots, but winter boots would be a begrudging acceptance, because Near likes boots better than shoes, and three being that they really only go outside during or after rain. Maybe before if they can sense it. (They can normally sense it.)

Near hums quietly, trying to let their joy and excitement out in little waves of music. They open the door of the car, and for a moment they can't see, because of their hair obscuring their view. Of course, the muddy ground, and wet parking lot of a grocery store wouldn't be that much interesting. If you didn't try to follow the cracks, see where it leads you.

"Patches?" Near looks behind theirself, into the car, where their stuffed kitten with a pretty big head sits in the passenger seat. Patches is a dull, darker blue, with actual patches over the place where a glassy eye should be, but instead is a purple button, and several other places. The patches vary. Green, pink, purple. "There you are. Come here. It's safe. And if it starts raining again, we can hide under something. That's always fun. Like that time we hid under a huge bush with a gigantic open spot. That was a very nice place to stay." 

Near gently picks the stuffed animal up, gazing lovingly at it. "Let's see where these cracks lead us, yes?" They murmur.

As is turns out, most of them lead towards the front part of the parking lot, which Near is absolutely not going to. It's a 24-hour grocery store by goodness, and Near only likes going public places at night. That doesn't mean they can go at night at all, and they're kinda attached to something. Not literally. Unless is Near makes it literally? They ponder this trail in life while turning around and beginning to walk back. 

_No,_ they finally decide, _too inconvenient. What if it starts on fire? I'd be dead…_

"That was boring." Near confesses to Patches, later. "I… that was one of the worst times I've… well, can't quite call it excercising… walked around. I've concluded by this experience that parking spaces are… what is it? Yes, a no-go. Although they are flat and easy to find, by the big signs the people in this city put up, just to seem more important, they are dull. And why are we here, Patches?" Near pauses, as to let the kitten stuffed animal speak. 

They smile softly. "Yes, Patches, we're here to have fun."

\--------------------

"The night is so beautiful," Near murmurs, staring out at the sky, "too bad I don't feel like sleeping, because I'd gladly sleep out there. It's because of my sleeping earlier." They look behind theirself, and Patches is gone. They yelp, and get away from the window to start looking. 

They search the whole car, but the stuffed kitten is nowehree to be seen. Near sits in the back, on their knees, trying to breathe deep. 

_Alright… where did I put Patches last?_ A pause. _We were on the hood…_ Near scrambles to get outside. But no luck. "Oh… it's nighttime… I won't be able to see her…" 

Of course this would happen to them. For the past couple years, the worst luck has come and slap them in the face several times.

Near puts on an over-exaggerated pout, and shakes a fist up at the sky. "Fine!" They say disdainfully. "But I promise you this: I will find her!" They sassily flip their hair over their shoulder while sniffing haughtily, and then laughs. _Make good things out of the bad things!_ the voice of someone Near misses so much echoes in their head. 

And even though Patches being missing makes Near want to cry until they run out of all liquids in their body (at some point, the crying would be gross… blood and other things Near doesn't wanna think about coming out of their eyes) they do just that.


	4. Let Us Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mello and Matt enjoy the next morning with some amusement and chocolate-y sugar - literally.

The first thing Mello hears in the morning, after waking up, is Matt singing. Horribly, but Mello will never say that out loud. Or really even think it. Matt is too precious. 

The first thing Mello thinks when he wakes up, and after hearing Matt, is _Damn._

The first thing he sees Matt doing that morning, is holding up a picture and singing to it, _into a hairbrush._ Mello thought that was _his_ gay-ass thing.

"What in the hell are you doing?" Mello demands, rubbing his eyes, yawning. Matt screams. Totally un-man-like. Not that it matters, but it's still hilarious. 

"Ummmm… nothing… can you go away? Why do you ruin things?" Matt scowls, blushing fiercly. Mello smiles gently, walking over and rubbing his boyfriend's shoulders. 

"What song is it?" Mello peers over and looks at the CD case lying upside down on the table that they both use for random things, but Mello uses most often. It's a Meghan Trainor album, which Matt got Mello earlier that year, for Valentine's Day because Mello's actually a fan of her. Mello next checks the number of the track, then the number and title of the song on the back of the case. He snorts. "Of course one of the slow, lovey songs. That's just like you." 

Silently, Matt hands him the picture. It's of him. And it's one of those sneaky pictures that Matt insists on sometimes taking, but Mello never knows about until after the fact.

"You're an ass." Mello snorts. "God, I love you so much it kills me." The brown-haired male beams ridiculously at him. 

"It kills me too!" They stare into each other's eyes until both of their stomachs grumble simultaniously. 

Mello busies himself with making eggs in the kitchen while Matt takes a shower first; it became their routine because Matt's a shit cooker. 

After he finishes those, he pours Matt a glass of orange juice, chuckling to himself as he does it, and begins making himself hot chocolate from one of those powder mix things. It's his favorite, and tastes much better than coffee. He holds a bar of partially-unwrapped dark chocolate between his teeth. 

"You're too much like my mother," Matt says, padding into the kitchen with a towel over his head. He peers at Mello out from a flopping edge of the towel. 

"Is that weird?" Mello laughs, leaning on the counter. 

"No, no. It's not weird. Actually, maybe from someone like you." Matt picks up the orange juice and uses it to guesture at Mello. "See, I used to have this in the morning." He then takes the towel off and rubs the glass like a bartender would. 

"Ugh. You perfect idiot." Mello smiles so hard that his cheeks hurt. He reaches over and musses up Matt's hair while the unsuspecting brunette is gulping down the citrusy liquid. 

"Hey!" Matt complains, but unable to keep his own smile from spreading. 

The microwave beeps, destroying the momebt. Mello turns around and gets his coffee cup full of water from the machine, then uses the spoon in the container full of chocolate mix to dump several spoonfuls into the mug. He lets it sit on the counter on the opposite side, and turns back to Matt.

"You're not getting another spoon to mix it all up?" Matt asks curiously. Mello shakes his head. Matt shrugs, too hungry to really care what the blonde does. 

They talk, then remain in silence, and talk, and then back to silence. They do this until Mello's sure that the chocolate is all melted. Then he slurps. 

"Fuck!" He hisses. Matt glances up, startled. 

"What, what? Are you okay?" Mello nods, glaring at his cup. 

"Every single hot chocolate cup I've ever had, unless if it had sat out for half an hour, burns my goddamn tongue." He cautiously picks it back up and tries again. And comes away successful, of course. "Yeah. And then the second isn't as bad." 

"Well, as long as you aren't seriously injured." The other still looks worried. 

"You shou- Matt, I'm fine. I've always been fine. I'm flattered you care this much, but I swear." 

"Yeah. I know. But remember?" Matt leans over the counter and brushes his palm against the left side of Mello's face. 

"Whatever. It wasn't my fault." They go back to silence. 

After they both finish what they're doing, Mello grabs a spoon, which draws Matt's attention to him, and earns a confused look. After all, he didn't use a spoon to mix it up, but _now_ he's getting one? 

"Close your eyes." Mello whispers, smirking. Matt does so immediately. The blonde wiggles the spoon in between his boyfriend's lips, and as soon as what's in the spoon hits the other's tongue, Matt makes a face. 

"What is that? That is waaay to sweet. And chocolate-y. How much chocolate is in that stuff?" Mello chuckles quietly, eating the chocolate-sugar that gathered at the bottom of the cup.


	5. When We're Tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Near does a bit of early-morning reminiscing. And more thinking, obviously.

The morning is beautiful. Not as beautiful as night, of course, but the sunrise is a close second. Especially if you've had a bad day the day before, and it's a rebirth. 

Near watches the sunrise through hair and half-lidded eyes. This makes it extremely hard to see, as several people would suspect, but it doesn't ruin their sight. 

The only thing missing on this glorious, wet morning is a patched-up kitten. Other than that, everything's perfect. 

Sighing, Near slowly gets up, grabbing onto something solid on one side of them, and pulling theirself closer up to the window. _Now I feel like if I were in a Disney movie, now would be my cue to start singing…_ This makes them smile a little.

They begin humming quietly, until they work up to not-quite-singing, more-like-muttering singing. _"Tomorrow night, lights will appear on my birthday, each year…"_

"My favorite princess Disney movie. Maybe second to Frozen. Or maybe Frozen is second. Hm…" They shrug and go outside, where they plop on the hood of the car and stare more, just breathing in the cool air. _I talk aloud to myself too much,_ Near notes grudgingly. _People will think I'm crazy._

They snort. "Yeah, well, I'm crazy either way to them. I hang around in pajamas with loooong white hair. I'm a strange human being. It's obvious."

After a little while, they get bored. This doesn't happen often, surprisingly, because they spend most of their time staring places, and pondering. Boy does Near miss their puzzles and toys. 

_"Smile!"_

They frown instead, and wave a hand up by their head as if to wave away a swarm of mosquitos.

"If I spend all of my days smiling, no one will know that I'm upset!" They joke. Meaning that they smile when they're upset. Also happy, but rarely the latter. "Oof! I miss happiness…" Not to say they don't have happiness. Near sighs. 

Back when Near was younger, and in a school of some sorts, they spent most of their time playing with their toys. Puzzles, too. They didn't like human interaction. A hard-core introvert. Not that every once in a while Near was with someone, because isolation applies to everyone in the world. Anyway, the playing was like studying, besides the fact that Near was already a brilliant child. The playing helped them think and figure out problems. They had a fancy to become a detective, like L, the world's greatest. Never was achieved though. Obviously, or else Near wouldn't be here. 

Actually, they might've made it, if a certain child didn't mess that up for them. Two certain children, one of them becoming Near's anchor and rainbow at the same time.

It was a life changing time. Life changing… it's impacted them by a hell of a lot, even about ten years later. 

"How long has it been exactly…?" Near murmurs. _So long…_ their brain answers for them. "Yeah, but exactly, stupid. I didn't need an answer like that." They pause. "Anywa-ah-ahm… darn. Yawns. Ugh." Near blinks blearily, suddenly all-too-aware of how little sleep they got last night, tossing and turning and staying up late. "I hate being tied… ugh! I hate being human!" 

They have moments like this. Where sometimes they just hate everything, and nothing is ever liked. Too bad for Patches in those moments, because these are the times where typically the stuffed animal'd be forgotten intentionally. 

These bouts can last an hour or a couple days, but never more than a month. They have so many things like this… Near often finds theirself hating everything, way too happy, or depressed. Sometimes sad. Mostly depressed, though. 

Yeah, and annoyed with everything, which has just been confirmed that it's different from hating everything. 

Hating everything, Near gets mad and just… seethes and sulks. With the being annoyed, Near gets sassy, stubborn, and haughty. They've been told several times by their rainbow that it's cute often enough.

"I don't want to sleep!" Near slides off of the car and kicks the front left tire as hard as possible, then keeps theirself from wincing and picking up their hurt foot, instead letting tears swim in their eyes.

Near twirls a lock of their white hair between two fingers, propping the arm up with their other palm. They then tug on the strand and let it go, making some of it bounce back up.

With another yawn, and an angry growl, Near gets into the car and sits there, arms crossed, glaring straight up at the roof of the car. 

At some point, they drift into another uneasy sleep, their head falling to the side, and their arms loosening. They have dreams of when they were much younger. Who they were then and who they knew.

To anyone who looks, it must look strange, just a car parked out in the back parking lot of a store. Or… it might not look that odd. Maybe this happens all the time. Near has gotten lucky lately; no one's been going to the store. At least, not parking in the back parking lot. Besides that couple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii! Long time, no see! I've missed you. -.- It's annoying. But I've been busy writing more of this and procrastinating, and editing and erasing and editing and hesitating and then more writing of other things not on here… and then browsing the internet when I have no more inspiration…
> 
> Anyway, lucky for you, I now have a lot of inspiration. UNlucky for you, I'll only be posting on this day of the week. Once a week. ^^ I really have always wanted a schedule, but I didn't know what day would be for the best. I've decided this one. Whatever day this is for you. For me, it's Wednesdays. 
> 
> The time may vary, but I'll try to be on schedule! If not, then booo on me, and you can feel free to yell at me. But even if I have to miss a couple weeks or even months, the next update will be on this day of the week. Promise. Cross my heart and… well, hope to die from coronavirus.


	6. Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mello and Matt share a few sweet moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGH! FLUFFY! DEFINITELY FLUFFY! GET THE FLUFF TAG ON, HERE WEEEEEE GOOOO~ 
> 
> Damn I was waiting for this. And now it's happening! Not with all three, although that is also what I'm waiting for, but just with Mello and Matt. If you are an avid shipper of them, like I also am, then here's the chapter lol.

"MATT!" Mello yells. "What in the hell did you do!?" Matt pokes his head into the kitchen, eyes wide and hair mussed, goggles perched naturally on the top of his head. "Aw… adorable… no! What did you do?" Mello shakes his head and looks away from the cute scene. Matt trots over and peers over his shoulder.

"What? What did I do…?" Mello jumps, and his shoulder hits Matt right in the chin. "Ouch! Now that's a horrible punishment! I don't even see what I did!" 

"You ate too much." Mello grumbles. "Also, you never help around here." Matt's mouth drops open. 

"I do too!" He says indignantly. 

"Alright, alright. You do. I'm just bitter." Matt smiles softly, melting Mello's harder shell like the blonde does with caramel filled chocolate things with his tongue. Except… in this demonstration, Matt doesn't use his tongue. 

The brown-haired male leans forward and kisses Mello, who has turned around by now, quickly, gently, pulls away, then does it again. 

"I'll marry you." Matt says nonchalantly, cupping the left side of Mello's face him his right hand, and sliding his left hand - both hands are warm, most likely from holding his video game - up Mello's shirt to trace the rest of the scar underneath there. 

"I- uh… what?" Mello's face screws up in confusion. Matt rolls his eyes, grinning. 

"I'd marry your sad ass. You'd be a good housewife." He bursts into laughter, laughing so hard that he's wheezing. "Okay, okay. I'm being serious. I don't care when the hell you ask, or even if you ever do, but I swear; the answer will be _yes._ "

Matt finally recovers and kisses Mello again, leaning into the blonde. 

At this point - which others might think is too early for such young adults, who are basically still children - the two have learned that the best, sweetest, and most loving kisses aren't done with an open mouth, or tongue (which totally requires an open mouth. Unless if there's some way not…?) but it's done short, closed mouth, and softly, or with slight, firm pressure. Those are the kisses that really matter. They're the kisses that prove that the other is still willing to be here. Together. Words help, too. 

Now, Matt takes his hand off of Mello's face, and slides that one under Mello's shirt too, so he can hold Mello closer. The blonde does the same, except he puts his hands into Matt's back pockets. 

"Mmmn. Boy you're adventurous today," Matt teases, pretending to reprimand his boyfriend. 

"Not at all! All I want is to rest my hands, I dunno. My arms are particularly tired."

Matt grins. "And why is that, do you think?" Mello snorts. 

"Oh, just because you were particularly needy last night." Mello winks and pulls away, walking out into the living room, and leaving Matt to stand there, glaring into empty air, but still smiling. "You comin'?" Mello calls. Matt flushes and nods, even though Mello can't see him. The younger male comes over and plops down in Mello's lap, whom the owner of which exhales sharply, in a "whoomph" sound.

"Sorry, Mello." Matt taunts, voice coated in sugar. Although, to Mello, when it's coated in sugar, he imagines a box slicked down… wet… dripping and stuff… 

"You're a pound heavier than me." Mello says dully, distracted by the images running through his mind. Slowly, little by little, his mouth inches open, and his eyes begin squinting. 

"Shut your trap or flies will lay their eggs in your mouth And who in the hell would wanna kiss that?" Matt pushes Mello's jaw up, and lightly smacks Mello into awareness. 

"Oh, yeah. And, don't use that tone with me, Mister, because it has its setbacks." Mello switches their position so he's the one in _Matt's_ lap, and he's pinning the brunette to the couch. He kisses Matt's neck just below his chin and grins. "Okay. I gotta take a shower now. You did your turn, and I never got to mine."

"Okay!" Matt beams at him, actually seeming like he's literally buzzing and glowing. Mello sits back on his haunches, looking pleased. He's always known how positively Matt's reacted to good attention and love, and here's proof. The blonde has always enjoyed knowing exactly what makes his partner happy. 

Mello gets in the shower, singing at the top of his lungs. Well, actually, if he tried, then he'd never be able to keep a tune. It'd just be like… well, screaming. 

After he finishes the song, he hears clapping, almost falls over laughing, and yells "Thank you, thank you" back out. 

_Fuck._ Mello thinks happily, grinning, _I love my life._

Once he gets out of the shower, he dries his hair, takes time brushing it out, gets dressed, and sticks his tongue out at the ugly reflection that's in the mirror.

"Matt!" He begins to announce when he walks out, "I want to get ice cream." His boyfriend looks up at him incredulously. 

"Seriously? Dude you gotta be kidding! It's spring, not summer!" Mello shrugs, not giving any fucks. "It's so rainy out though!" Just a blank stare. "Okay, okay. When?" 

"Now?" Mello raises an eyebrow, seriously thinking that that was obvious. "It's not raining now." 

"No, but it's still super cold! It's morning. You can't just expect me to- ohhh no. I will not be dragged somewhere I don't want to go." Mello switches from smiling expectantly to pouting. He sticks out his bottom lip and pretends to growl at Matt. "Aw… no! Dammit, Mello, you know that pouting is my weakness!" The blonde smiles again, this time smugly. 

"Exactly!" Matt gives him a look. "But c'mon! I just wanna get ice cream with you! Isn't it perfectly romantic?" 

"We don't do romantic things anymore." The mood changes from joking and happiness to serious. Mello looks away, huffs out a sigh and flops on the couch while crossing his arms, while Matt opens and closes his mouth, trying to eitheer take back what he said or fix it. 

The thing is, Mello knows that it's his fault; he's the one who schedules their outings because… Matt doesn't like going outside for shit. But now Mello's gotten more self-conscious of his scar on his face, because of everyone giving him odd looks like he's dangerous, crazy, or pathetic. That "scars make you look cool" thing is complete bullshit when it's marring your face. Disfiguring anything like that. It's why Mello does things like park in back parking lots. And wears something that will cast a shadow over his face. It's why he's grown his hair out. Not fully because it reminds him of his childhood. 

Slowly, Mello inches closer to Matt, leaning on his boyfriend's shoulder, sniffling a little pathetically. 

"Let's just watch TV." Mello murmurs. Matt kisses the back of his hand, then puts it on his other shoulder, making it so Mello has an arm wrapped around him. 

Again, Mello loves his life. He really does. It's understandable and perfect, and any problem or trouble he has he can work through. He has Matt by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I- ummm- ye- no- 
> 
> Okay, sorry. That turned out less fluffy than I imagined. >·< I fucked up. But it WAS cute, wasn't it? It was. It had to have been.
> 
> AnywaY, yummm… ice creammmmm… I'm with Mello on this one. I will have ice cream in the middle of a cold-ass winter storm. It doesn't matter. Ice cream is ice cream, and if I want it, I have it.
> 
> Have a good day!!


	7. I'll Hold Your Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Near decides to make their decision now; something they felt they should've made a couple days before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dudes! I have begun this chapter at approximately 1:40 A.M. I'm so stupid sometimes. Lol. I know I should sleep but frankly if you have inspiration and can write, WRITE! Sorry if the beginning of this chapter doesn't make sense. Sadly I don't drink coffee. Anyway, normally I'm good at keeping my tiredness manageable when writing. It shouldn't be too bad.

Near chews on their bottom lip without realizing they're doing so. They're too deep in thought to think about exactly what they're doing.

It's been a couple days since that morning. And another day plus since when they lost Patches. They've done nothing about it, and they want to know what to do. It's what they're currently pondering. 

Near twirls some of their white, stringy hair, but pulls away after a minute, disgusted by how slimy it feels. They really desperately want to twirl their hair, but instead they turn on the car and turn on the radio. They haven't turned on the dark blue car in a couple days, so perhaps it's a good thing to not let the engine settle. And maybe freeze, although it's closer to summer than spring. It's still better to be on the safe side. 

Most of the channels are commercials, commercials that last for a couple minutes after they turn it on, but they continue to turn the knob, not caring how tired their hand may get. It's just like twirling their hair; turning the knob is. Especially getting it to turn by moving an index finger around it. 

Finally, Near settles on a channel with an older song they enjoy. It's a love song, and it makes them insanely, oddly happy. It reminds them of when someone would take their hands and spin them around. It's been… too long since that's happened. 

Near tilts their head to the side and twists and pulls their fingers, just twiddling. They've lost the knob now, and their hair, and there's no puzzles, so there's nothing else they can do. 

Patches… a stuffed animal that has lived with Near throughout most of their life. Several years. A worn out stuffed animal. A companion for when there is no other companions. 

Near wants to go after her. Find her somehow. But they're wondering if it's even safe.

Then again, it doesn't really matter. No one will care. No one ever cares. Besides, Near's been feeling like they need to travel. Of course, they'll always come back to where they are now, but for now, they need to _go._

So truly, it's already settled. Near only has to wait for a good, sunshiney day. Just a day for starting. It'll probably rain when they go… if they spend a couple days looking for her… but it's nothing they haven't experienced before. 

Near flinches at that thought. 

_Near stands out in the rain, shielding Patches from it with their chest-length hair that they haven't cut in several months. They're looking up, soaking wet, feeling the dirt and other things; leaves, sticks, wash out of their hair and clothes. They're also feeling other things washing away, internalized things. And they're ignoring the tears on their face, passing them off as the same kind of drops coming from the mourning sky._

"Darling, don't upset me." Near says randomly, frowning. The song ends, and another one that Near likes better, but holds more memories comes on. It's a heartbreak song. 

Near ponders why a love song, and then directly after a heartbreak song came on in a row. It's a stupid, sad combination, and it'll surely do some things for some people. Near, however, has never been in love the way the songs say, and therefore it doesn't effect them. Which is all the better, because if it did, then even more memories would be surfacing. Not all memories are faceable. And not all memories Near wants to see again. 

"Suppose it's a good day…?" Near murmurs, voice catching. They clear their throat and try again. "Suppose it's a good day. Today. Would I go?" That's truly what they're wondering. And they can't take too long doing so… what if it is a good day, and they would go, but it's nighttime before they decide that? There are too many paths in the world. It would be so much more easier if there was only one.

They finish listening to the song, staying silent while it's on. They wrinkle their nose and smile slightly. "Of course I'll go. Don't be ridiculous." It seems way too obvious. Maybe not to others, but if you had kept a stuffed animal for most of your life - which so many people have - and then you lost it, most likely outside, you'd probably go looking for it. It's not that strange of a thought. 

And we all know that buying a new one isn't the same. At all. 

The reason why Near had to decide is because it's already looking like a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know the chapters are short, but I suppose it's easier for me to write. Normally I push myself too hard when it comes to chapter/fic length. I see really long ones of either of those and get upset, and think I'm quite pathetic at writing. X) Who knows, I might just be.
> 
> Sorry for being a downer! I made a lot of this end note really late too. All of what you just read is late at night.
> 
> Have a good day!!
> 
> Also, helloooooooo to bestofwaifusbestofwomen, if you're reading this! Thank you so much for the support, it has given me so much inspiration… I've pre-written more than I've ever pre-written before with any work. I believe in you, and your writing. You are such a beautiful writer. I can't wait to see what you come up with for this beautiful OT3! <3 If you're planning on reading this all the way through, you might be in this for a long time, because probably over 20 chapters? Most likely, truly, what with these chapters being so short. That means several weeks of your life (really should only be on Wednesday…) will have this taking up space. Thank you for reading and commenting… and sorry for the loooong-ass ramble!


	8. Only If You Want Me To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're going back to Near, because their trail is dipping closer to Mello's and Matt's. None of them have any idea of it, or when they'll merge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've realized that I've been already putting in small flashbacks. That's good to know. I don't want the tag to be for naught. I thank every single one of you who has stuck by me, all of you are so amazing. You keep me writing. I'm glad I've been having this much inspiration.
> 
> So! Small question… how soon do you want them to actually see each other again, for the second time in Near's case, but the first in Mello and Matt's? I'd really like to know because I don't know if I'm accomplishing what I want… I'm trying to make it slow but not too slow. Sorry if the word count is a ridiculous number for something with now 8 chapters… I wish I could make them longer…

It is a good day. Near knew it. They normally know these things. It's quite obvious in these times.

Near rummages through the select things they have in bags that are light and easy to carry. They find nothing, frowning. But they soon spot the umbrella that they keep with them just in case is the sky cries again. Stepping outside, the nineteen-year-old opens the umbrella, smiling. 

_I remember when I called umbrellas "umbrellys." What a strange childish thing._

Sighing, Near puts the umbrella back in the car, knowing that if they carried around a pink, old, small Hello Kitty umbrella with them, already looking like a twelve-year-old girl, it would look strange. Most likely someone would pay attention to them then. Near can see it now. 

"What are you doing, little girl?" Someone would ask, "Where are your parents?" 

"I'm not a girl," Near would have to answer as politely as possible, "and I'm not little either. I don't need parents… and I'm looking for a stuffed animal." 

Yeah, that will _tooootally_ convince the stranger that Near isn't a little girl. Of course, Near would either ignore the stranger or walk away without looking back. 

Near smirks, thinking about this. So no, it'd be better if they didn't take Hello Kitty along on their adventure. Besides, what if it doesn't rain? 

They put on their light blue rain boots, pick up their large, steel silver water bottle, and glare ahead at nothing, mentally preparing theirself for the journey. 

They already know that the journey will be just like following the cracks in the cement; they'll be pulled on by something that they don't have control over, and there is no true destination. It's dangerous, and if they could, Near would've liked to tie a red string to the car's steering wheel or door handle (steering wheel would be safer) and then connect it to their finger or waist or wrist. Wrist would be preferable, simply because finger could slip off, waist would be a waist of a foot or two of string - although they're so skinny that maybe not that much - but wrist is enough, and would have to go around their hand, which is wider by a bit from their wrist. 

"Small skeleton." Near says, nodding assuredly. "That's all. And see, my hand and fingers are also smaller, slimmer, and more fragile. Small skeleton." _Who_ are _you talking to?_ "Nobody." They say immediately. "Nobody…"

They begin walking away, not looking back, for fear that if they do, they'll decide to permanently stay. Not that that's a smart decision; something bad will happen to them one way or another. But they'll get back up, because it's what they do. It's what they were taught to do. "And smile in their faces!" She had said cheerfully, "It's the best way to show them that they still didn't win." She said that conspiratorialy, like she was telling them a secret. In a way, it kind of is. 

This thought makes them smile. Near really needed to hear her say that again. 

"I'll find her. I swear." And it's the best they can do for now. One task at a time.

For the first time in several days, maybe even a week plus, Near steps out to where people can openly see them. They know that they must look ridiculous. Strange, at the very least, but it doesn't matter. After a while in, Near learned to not care what people think of them. They spent too much of their life caring too much about what others think. Of how they view them. Which is why gender was a thing Near never spoke of, and hair stayed short, and the toys stayed in their room unless if they were safe. 

Alright, now they DO have an idea of where Patches may be. In fact, Near spotted Patches just that day… in a raccoon's paws. It was really odd and surprising, but at least the world gave Near some clue as to where the stuffed kitten is. That information is necessary if they're gonna seriously go. 

They keep closer to the edges of the parking lot, and when they turn onto the cement path - the word for them passed through Near's head… but then they promptly forgot again - they finally relax some. 

Near turns around and looks up at the giant sign that this grocery store has. Near scoffs, shaking their head. The stupid buildings around here. Them and their signs. All of them want to be the best, so they make larger and larger signs, thinking that the tallest will be the most known. 

Truly, it should depend on who likes whatever it is, and recommends it to others. Word to mouth advertising is so much better than just signs. Stop ruining the world.

"Such a good day today," they mumble, changing the subject, "I wonder if I'll get lucky? The only problem is, I don't know in which direction the raccoon went, so, in fact, I might be on the completely wrong track." 

Their stomach grumbles, as if in agreement, and the happy-go-lucky mood returns, if only slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated the tags, you probably noticed that chapters ago >·< But frankly I don't care. So I updated the tags. Not all of the tags added will be in the near future, they're just the tags I'm sure will be put into play. If some of them aren't, then I'll fix it. Promise.
> 
> Thank everyone who kudoses and comments! It means everything to me! <3
> 
> Btw, y'all, for this chapter I have spent the four minutes between Tuesday and Wednesday being overly-excited, because I've waited all week for this update. THANK GOD IT'S HERE!
> 
> Have a good day!!
> 
> ~posted 5 minutes after the hour


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